
By: Miss FranQueen
Edited by: Janine Hobson
findiit.org
Have you ever had a date that was so great or so horrible you just can’t forget it? I’ve had many dates, some pleasurable and some dreadful. But there is one haunting date that sticks out to me like the day Janet Jackson “accidentally” exposed her breast on national TV. I was nineteen and as stylish as you can be, with an OLD NAVY wardrobe; on a day care teachers’ salary. My friend Chris hooked me up on a date with his cousin, Eddie, who saw my picture and thought I was HOT. I first asked what he looked like, but he wouldn’t tell me. This should have been my first warning / clue.
“It will take the fun out of it,” he answered excitedly. This should have been my second warning / clue. The only thing he told me was that Eddie was unforgettable. This should have been my third and final warning / clue.
I know what you are thinking, but I’m not that shallow. Looks aren’t so much a factor. I just wanted the gist of his personality. He could have come over looking like Sloth from the Goonies, and I would have given him a chance. Luckily he was far from Sloth. He did however resemble Shrek -except he wasn’t green. He picked me up 40 min. late in his mom’s Nissan, wearing plaid cargo shorts and a NEW FOUND GLORY band t-shirt. Being fashion forward, I looked down at my tight boot cut jeans and Forever 21 halter top, feeling way too overdressed. Already, this was a bad start!
“Have you eaten?” he asked curiously. M y stomach instantly growled at the thought of food. “Starved,” I declared. The next thing I knew he was pulling up to a Jack in the Box drive thru. Really. A drive thru? Are you kidding me?! Great, I’m showing awesome cleavage for a Jumbo Jack! I quickly scanned the menu to distract my mind from registering that I was on a date at a drive thru. I gave my order and he pulled up to the window without ordering for himself. “You’re not hungry?” I asked. He mumbled something about eating before he picked me up as the cashier gave the total. I hesitated and he looked at me bizarrely as if to say, “She needs your money.” Wow! I had to pay for my own food at a drive thru HE took me to?
The fun didn’t end there. He drove off while sticking his hand in the bag and began eating MY fries! I’m not greedy, but I don’t share my French fries! Besides, I didn’t even imply that I was sharing! “We could go to a movie,” he suggested with mouth full of food, “But I need gas.” Oh great, another detour. I was still waiting for the fun to begin.
I started to scarf down my food as he pulled into a gas station. Just as I’m going to bite into my Jumbo Jack, he asks me if I can go pay while he pumps gas. I look at him oddly. “It will be faster,” he says getting out of the car. Without giving me any money! I scowl, walk inside, and drop a $20 on his tank. At this point, I can’t help but get really irritated. He just made me pay for my food AND his gas. I get back into the car and I can’t even finish my burger. My appetite was long gone, and aggravation had quickly taken its place.
I really wanted to go home but I didn’t want to appear rude by ending the date so soon. WAIT! He ate my Fries! We’ve been on this date for 26 min. and I’ve thus far paid for my dinner and his gas. I’VE HAD IT!!
“What do you want to do now?” he inquired. Dumb question!
“I’m not feeling too good, I think that burger made me sick,” I lied, being overly dramatic. “Can you please take me home? I think I’m going to puke!”
“I guess I can take you home,” he whispered dejectedly. We got to my house and I tuned to him saying goodnight. He immediately pulled in for a kiss. A KISS?
I looked at him and groaned. There was no way in hell I was going to make out with this guy wearing a cheesy New Found Glory t-shirt. I put my finger to his lips and said “Um. No.” He leaned back onto his car seat looking very. I got out of the car faster than Speed Racer!!
I shut the front door as I heard him drive off, and sighed with relief. It was finally over.
I never saw Eddie again after that night. I deleted him from my phone and from my life. The only upshot from this date was he earned the title of THE DATE FROM HELL.
After all these years I still think about Eddie and laugh. I guess Chris was right, he was truly unforgettable!